Today on TITCFTIHEH: Having your own stalker.

Yeah that's right, I have my own stalker. Do you? Didn't think so. Yet another reason why I'm awesome.

Anyway, a little preface first I guess. e-stalking isn't a new phenomenon, if you go after the right person it can be fairly easy to get some details that they probably wouldn't want you having. Particular parts of the Internet get quite a bit of laughs out of tracking down all the details of someone just from a picture (which continually impresses me). My particular stalker had a bit of an easier time because my surname isn't exactly common, and it was easy to get my full name, partly because of carelessness, and partly because of the power of the Internets. I'm not exactly sure why he's doing it, or if he's joking, but it's fairly funny, so I thought I might post the story up... or maybe I'm doing it just in case I mysteriously disappear...

Bit more information... I regularly post on the Games.on.net forums (you'll see why this matters in a bit), and I usually voice my opinion (hurr durr Internets keyboard warrior etc), and I knew I annoyed some people, but obviously not as much as I thought, seeing as someone decided to track my address down to scare me... or something. 

Also, recently there has been a few posts by an anonymous Devil's Advocate (DA) on a few gaming-related topics. They are basically taking an opposite point of view to gamers to stimulate discussion. A few haters haven't liked the posts, and called them trolls (which they aren't... but I won't go into that right now), and I haven't agreed they are trolls, and suggested they fuck off if they are going to say such retarded shit (I know, I'm so tough).

IRC is Internet Relay Chat. It's like MSN chat but with (usually) more people, and more old school. This isn't completely necessary to understand, but it helps. All times are ACST.

So I came home from doing something on a beautiful Thursday afternoon and found this email.

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From: Hugo Miller

To: the.skitzor@gmail.com

Date: Thu, Jul 8, 2010 at 3:36 PM

Subject: I know who you are adrian

Adrian *my surname*

I know everything

The internet is a great place for information

I shall be coming.

to *my street name*

Who am I?

I'm from Games.on.net

Keep watching irc ;)

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At this point I was wondering if it was a joke, or someone actually cared enough about me (nawww) to find my name and address out. I also wondered what he was going to do on IRC, and why he thought overusing the enter key was some kind of gateway to being awesome. So I replied.

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Adrian to Hugo, 5:57 PM Thursday 8th July.

if you aren't going to tell me when you're coming around, i can't guarantee cold beer.

_____________________________________________________

He didn't reply to this for a few days so I thought it was over. Then I got this.

Hugo to Adrian, 5:30 PM Thursday 15th July.

You fucking stoner cunt!

Go get a fucking life. Drugs fucking kill.

Prove me wrong bitch, prove me wrong.

DA is fucking trolling. You got told hard mother fucker

I know where you live.

And I'm still coming.

Keep watching the IRC

My first thought was, "is this guy mad enough", I had offered him a friendly beer and he calls me a cunt, how rude. Then I started to wonder why he was so mad, and then I wondered what I was going to make for dinner. The answers were, probably, don't know, and a pasta bake. And then I remembered the time I got someone mad because I posted this marijuana-related image...

http://hailmaryjane.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/weed.jpg (I won't do a proper image link because it's fucking massive)

The page it started on is here, http://games.on.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=2302765#p2302765 . Now I don't know if the guy who I got mad is sending these emails, but I doubt it.

So he's mad about me providing evidence as to why marijuana isn't as bad as some people would like you to think it is, and because I was saying the DA articles weren't trolls (which they aren't). I find it funny that it seems like someone got so offended by my posts they started emailing me anonymously, seemingly trying to scare me. To be completely honest, it is a bit disconcerting knowing that someone on the Internet has your address, because I know there are some fucked up people out there.

I replied.

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Adrian to Hugo, 6:32 PM Thursday 15th July.

rather than beer, do you want me to keep some marijuana on hand so we can smoke a doobie together? i should be able to refrain some smoking a few buds so there's some left for whenever you show up.

don't worry about bringing your own, i know a guy.

_____________________________________________________

Is it a good idea to aggravate him more?... I don't really know. Probably not. Seems fairly funny right now, but when I am hanging upside down in some abandoned warehouse naked, with cuts all over my body and watching him out of the corner of my blood-filled eyes, cackling manically, mumbling to himself about how he fucking showed me, I'll probably regret it.

His reply was more prompt this time,

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Hugo to Adrian, 6:58 PM Thursday 15th July

Don't worry, it will take me a while

From google maps it says

Driving directions to *my address*  - 1,383 km – about 17 hours 3 mins

However if I walk there it takes me even longer 11 days 6 hours

What do you know about pot? Why smoke for?

I do like beer though, I say put it on in another 11 days and 5 hours.

Did you know Trinity did not shoot Deb and her ex

It was his daughter Chrisine

Why? Because they were getting close to Trinity.

Deb also finds out about dexter

And you also know Trinity kills dexters wife

_____________________________________________________

So from this email I have determined, from a few hours of extremely intense brainstorming I reached the conclusion that he can indeed use the Internet, specifically google maps. The other thing I discovered was he was going to arrive at around 1 AM in the morning, and I thought this showed his intense dedication to his (slightly weird) cause. A person who can use the Internet AND has dedication... just fucking kill me now.

He also actually assumes I smoke pot, which is nice. I wish I was cool enough to smoke marijuana. 

Those last few lines are of him spoiling Dexter for me (a television series). This is another thing from the games.on.net forums, as some guy spoiled one of the main twists of the very last episode in some random discussion, and as I haven't finished the series yet, I got a bit teary about it and posted about my aforementioned tears. 'Cause seriously, you don't just go fucking spoiling shit without using hidden tags, bro ! What's the point in finishing the series if it's been fucking spoiled (sadface) ! However, I don't see the point in him spoiling it again. This may mean he isn't all that smart, so maybe I still have a chance.

Whilst writing this post I emailed him back,

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Adrian to Hugo 7:47 PM Thursday 15th July

smoking the reefer is sooo cool brah, you should try it some time.

as for the beer, according to the time i received the email, 11 days and 5 hours from the delivery time is around midnight. this doesn't work for me as it's way past my bed time. maybe i'll do it the day before.

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So that's the story up to 8:01 PM Thursday 15th July. I'll (probably) keep my readers informed of what's going on eventually, because I know everyone really cares about it, right?