Today on TITCFTIHEH: Gang rape and America

Yes. Today we are talking about gang rape.

First, some people might need a bit of back story. So there is this place called America, it has an upper and lower house, called the Senate and House of Representatives respectively. A few things go on there; time is wasted, people yell and sometimes laws are proposed and passed. It is quite similar to Australia's Senate and House of Representatives.

They are also in the middle of two wars, one in Iraq, and one in Afghanistan. The government usually hires out private contractors to do certain jobs in the safer zones of these countries because their armed forces aren't large enough to do everything (not badass enough it seems).

Now the story starts.

In December 2007, Jamie Leigh Jones accused a group of firefighters of drugging and raping her in Iraq in 2005 (she was 19 at the time). They also apparently locked her in a shipping container for 24 hours without food or water. To quote a news article, "When she awoke the next morning still affected by the drug, she found her body naked and severely bruised, with lacerations to her vagina and anus, blood running down her leg, her breast implants ruptured and her pectoral muscles torn‚ which would later require reconstructive surgery. Upon walking to the rest room, she passed out again".

Reconstructive surgery? What the shit? You may be asking yourself, is this the crazy bit yet? Fuck no.

The woman in the centre of this gigantic fuck up.

So she got raped, there is a law against that right? A normal person would expect her to be able to sue the people responsible and get some kind of compensation (preferably their testicles). Wrong again fuck face. According to the fine print in her contract with KBR (formerly Kellogg Brown Root, who are a engineering (fuck yeah engineering), construction, and private military contractor), she could only use arbitration (From Wikipedia: Arbitration, a form of alternative dispute resolution, is a legal technique for the resolution of disputes outside the courts, wherein the parties to a dispute refer it to one or more persons, by whose decision they agree to be bound), and it blocked her attempt at proper legal action. Arbitration is some pussy form of court, for pussies that want to protect their arse, and not get buttraped by the media.

Woman gets raped. Contract blocks her from suing. This must be the crazy part? Wrong again, cockfag.

Enter white knight; Al Franken.

One sexy guy.

Al Franken is an ex Saturday Night Live (if you don't know what this is, look it up, and get out from under that rock) writer and performer who decided performing in the Senate would be a more enjoyable experience (bleeding from your rectum would be more enjoyable than being in politics... Saturday Night Live must have been pretty bad). He is a junior Senator from Minnesota, and only recently won his seat due to an extremely close vote. Opposition had a little cry, Supreme Court told him to go suck a fuck. Anyway...

He saw this story and thought it was pretty fucked up, so he proposed an amendment that would attempt to put a stop to this stupid fine print. The amendment basically states that private contractors can be barred from government contracts if their contracts disallow public legal action. This would mean that future Jamie Leigh Jones could get their day in court (this is a good thing, getting raped would be sadface).

If there was ever an amendment that would be totally bipartisan, and get total support, this should be one of them. This is a fucking anti-gang rape amendment. Surely it will get 100% of votes in the Senate. FUCKING WRONG.

This is the fucking crazy part. 30 Republican Senators voted against this amendment. THIRTY. More than 29, less than 31. It got passed 68-30. 30 Republican Senators approve of gang rape.

9 out of 10 people may enjoy gang rape, but 30 out of 40 Republican Senators approve of gang rape.

Oh Kanye, you so silly.

Most people know how crazy America is. Ranging from blubbering hate mongerers like Glenn Beck, to angry old drug addicts like Rush Limbaugh. These men are so fucking crazy that they make Bill O'Reilly look sane.

May or may not be real.

In a country where these A-Class fucktards are almost worshiped, should i really be surprised that 30 Senators (the motherfuckers that make the rules) voted against an anti-gang rape amendment? Probably not. But i am.

And that is the craziest fucking thing i have ever heard.

Sources: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/oct/15/defence-contractors-rape-claim-block
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/07/franken-gets-first-amendm_n_312399.html
Wikipedia